Exodus 14:14

We made it another week. 18 weeks 6 days. I can’t tell if the days feel long or short, but the hours seem to drag. This journey is unlike anything I have ever experienced.  Daniel often asks how I am feeling, but I can’t seem to put words to the range of emotions that I feel throughout an hour, let alone a day or a night. I can tell you that it is hard.  Everything about this is hard.  But I don’t walk without hope.  My hope is in Jesus.

We had a pretty encouraging appointment on Thursday morning. Both of the girls’ fluid levels were up a little and the blood flows were stable and normalizing throughout their bodies. Huge praises! I saw my doctor briefly. (He was literally walking into another surgery but took a few minutes to come check in and see how the girls were doing.) He even said, “This is good,” under his breath.  He reiterated again that we are “not out of the woods” but multiple things look to be improving.  He also said that statistically because the membrane separation hasn’t yet sealed, that it probably won’t and I will continue to leak amniotic fluid throughout the rest of the pregnancy.  But I know that our God is a God of miracles. I won’t lose hope.

Later that evening, I started showing possible signs of infection.  I immediately called Dr. Espinoza, while pleading with God for this not to be happening. (If I do get an infection that affects my uterus because of the membrane rupture/separation, there is nothing they will be able to do but deliver the girls, no matter their gestational age.) He surprisingly didn’t seem overly concerned but did want to see me in the clinic Friday morning. He ran all kinds of tests, and said he feels it could be an infection that we would hopefully be able to treat with antibiotics and keep pressing on in our journey or it could possibly be “nothing to worry about.”  We should have results sometime early to mid-week next week.  I know all I can do is continue to pray for and trust that the Lord will perform a miracle.  He will fight for me.  He will protect our girls.  He will allow them to continue to grow despite the hurdles and deficits they are having to overcome. I have to.  I have no other choice.

We have another ultrasound to check fluid levels, blood flows, and general wellbeing on Monday afternoon.  We have a follow up echo to take another in depth look at both of their heart functions on Wednesday afternoon.  And Thursday we will have a growth scan to get a better picture of how they are both coping after surgery.

I know so many people are praying for our girls.  And I can’t say it enough, but THANK YOU.  Will you please pray specifically this week for—

  • Piper’s heart function to be completely normal.
  • Avery’s growth to show that her share of the placenta is just enough for her to grow and thrive.
  • Both of their fluid levels to increase dramatically.
  • The membrane separation to miraculously seal.
  • No infection to hinder the progress the girls are making.
  • Noah, Grayson, and Emery to continue to adjust to this upside down season we are in.
  • God to be glorified through the lives of Piper and Avery.

I can’t end this post without highlighting the AMAZING community that has rallied around our family to support us in every way possible.  From grocery shopping for Daniel and Noah to after school care for Noah to driving me an hour and a half to and from doctor’s appointments, I am blown away by God’s goodness being shown through the very best of friends and family.

When I walk through deep waters
I know that You will be with me
When I’m standing in the fire
I will not be overcome
Through the valley of the shadow
I will not fear

I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me

In the midst of deep sorrow
I see Your light is breaking through
The dark of night will not overtake me
I am pressing into You
Lord, You fight my every battle
And I will not fear

I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me

You amaze me
Redeem me
You call me as Your own

You’re my strength
You’re my defender
You’re my refuge in the storm
Through these trials
You’ve always been faithful
You bring healing to my soul

I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me
-Kari Jobe “I Am Not Alone”


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